And the molecules of heat saturate our moods and our skin. A bold presents its invigoration, the liveliness clamps on to belief. Everything feels better here. The lows, not even as low as months ago, are opportunities to show ourselves we are capable of the rise, to enjoy the awakened scenery. Spring doesn’t hold our hand- instead sends us on our way skipping and fresh and feeling full of life.
The sun is just around the curve;
whispering this to you,
Back lit and caressing all that is seen,
with a strong subtlety
of grey purple.
The world is still quiet here
pyjama shuffling slipper feet,
and I smile.
Today is choices and availability
to do and to be purposeful,
just the way
The Grey Purple of the Sky-
the chance at another Day,
tells me to be.
I just need to write this morning.
My time is speeding a long here in Ontario, even though I know I have quite a lot more left before we go back.
When I am here I can feel the part about living my own life, quite easily.
I do have the support but it actually widens the distance.
Because I know my baby like they never will and I know my life in Thailand like they don’t and they continue with their life here because that’s what they’re supposed to do and we are just the visitors, stepping in for a moment and taking a look around.
And I am slowly seeing that if we were to live here it might not necessairly make it easier for me. It’s making me aware of how much time I actually do spend with my son.
When they only take him for a few hours at a time, when they only spend a few minutes on the floor with him.. that is when I understand they only deal with snipits.
And it is what being a mother is. Your life gets transferred to another one.
I guess I am a bit dissapointed that my Mom isn’t pulling as much as I thought she would. That my brother isn’t interacting with Zeek as much as I envisioned.
It helps me to realize that living away from them all in Thailand, is an okay thing.
It helps me to see that my life really is over there and that being away from everyone, isn’t entirely a bad thing.
My love that is over there, is sturdy and unwavering. And each time I am without him, I get pulled back into the smart shoes, recognizing that what I have for him, is more than what I can express.
‘Distance makes the heart grow fonder.’