Frozed Up Mouth

I had my tooth pulled today.
It was infected.

None of it actually really hurt.
They froze the left side of my jaw.
That was the first time tears started falling into my ears.
And I couldn’t get the motion to speak figured out.
It was the uncontrol. The fact that these two ladies ( professional ) could like rip my lip off or stab my gum, or switch my teeth around in there. I was helpless to their help.

The second time I cried was when I felt the flurry of there hands through my clenched eyes, and the pressure and pull. And I couldn’t breathe quite right. It was running breath I couldn’t slow to a walk and it was because I just felt that this was more difficult then they anticipated. Sharp intake of breath and I sat up in the seat and within 20 seconds my hyperventilation was over and I layed still, clenching a kleenix. Oh how I wished I brought my sons favourite stuffy.

But I got through it.
Now I sit with gauze and blood and frozen.

Beginning of a Good Breakup Hits Me

Oh shite,

this is harder than I thought.

I’m gulping in air-tears trying to keep them from popping out of my eye balls and my heart is about as heavy as an empty aircraft and full as a buffalo who’s eaten 10 heaping plates of macaroni and 12 bowls of chocolate mousse cake and 284 bugs all in 2 minutes.¬†And I mean the BIG bugs.
I must maintain positivity. I must.
This is so difficult.

Looking at my phone still, knowing the texts will not happen anymore after today.
The miss is setting in harder than it has in the past two months.
This will not be good. This will not be good…

But it will be good.
Because I will make it that way.

I can choose to.

And I choose to.