Saw You

Sweat against my cheek I can only see from Monday mornings’ light
I am calm and found right now.
I dreamed last night
and not caring to shake it loose now, I just sit with it.
Inside that dream I would like to be
but inside this life
my tools and I
can make that dream
a reality.

It Tasted Like My Own Medicine

War in a bottle,
went down my throat last night
as I snacked on stars and waited for Dawn.

She approached me with fine colour
we were fine for a minute or two
and I’m sure all I saw was beauty
but I closed my eyes after awhile,
afraid I’d seen too much.

The drops stung when they hit my lungs
and I knew it was a good thing
I swallowed
my denial, avoidance and dishonesty
and when I swallowed
there was one thing more then just Dawn and I.

 

 

 

There was Peace.

 

 

 

 

I am Here!!

Friends,
I am standing on a solid
I didn’t have mere months ago.
I was swallowing the booze everyday
and wanted little to do with life
and now
I am here.

Friends,
I am feeling sure of many things
I felt no such thing 5 weeks ago.
I was wishing death was easier
and was angry because I couldn’t do it
and now
I am here.

I am here where I watch the flower fluffs float in the sun down by the creek.
Everything seems to have a beauty.
There is a peace I’ve found just in pushing forward.
I wasn’t expecting this.

But this must be why I kept going.

I believe in me and my ability to love the changes I’m undertaking. I don’t know exactly where this came from. To let go of all the mistakes I’ve made and to release myself of guilt. To know that I don’t need to carry it around. I actually don’t. And if anyone in my past wants to hold things against me, to not even give me a chance to shine in spite of my bad choices, then I do not need them in my life.
I will live better without them.

I am here
and the love for MY life is greater because of it.