This is What I Give You

We spent more consecutive and planned time together these past three days than we have in five months.

And it’s because we knew the rest of the gift was coming.

We were dating-past free- for the weekend.
Dinner and desserts and movie and conversations about everynothings- all the things we know our hearts ache to have from one another. We gave in to simplicity and let ourselves forget our mess.

We let ourselves get good and deep and lost.

 

 

I’m not giving up,
I’m just tired of words that don’t carry any meaning and tired of actions that are only giving way to the us in the past.

 

 

My gift is my love.

 
And I’m choosing time apart.

 

 

We’re to focus on getting better individually.

 

 

 

To a Better You,

 

 

A Better Me.
And perhaps,
a Better Us.

 

 

 

Where Does the Flow Come From?

There is not a flow to everything if you think you know what is flowing and what is not.

The ocean has purpose; even when it is uncalm, seething, frothing and spitting.

If you try and find the flow, you will not.

Because the flow is everywhere your potential makes it.

Everywhere that you are, is flow.
Because your life is the heartbeat energy.

Your mind, your heart- are what shapes things.
You can shape flow,
everywhere you go.

Mental Quicksand

Convincing yourself of general happiness.

I’ve had waves of attacking life as it is, recently. By vigoursly being happy with it all. With choices and attitude; and accepting that it is like that and that it is fine like that.

The battle to change big parts of self, seems like exhaust of failed effort.
That I am not winning it.

Taking a different approach seems like a valuable idea.

Actions that are more doable are not necessarily the best of ones,I know.
But I will continue making excuses about my weak and wavering temple of mind.

Not feeling ready to change or not wanting to or because the difficulty level is at a maximum.

Is is because of my current position in life?
Am I trying to run against a current that I haven’t even been able to walk in?
Perhaps letting the current slow, or walking to a place where the white caps are more like ripples and the rocks more like mud, is the better alternative.
And going with the flow instead of against, even a better one.

Getting to a place or creating a space in mind that tells me I’m not battling, but simply living- and loving it.

Oh, how far down can one get when the struggle is only weakening the player.
Before the weakness becomes the injured. The defeated.

A lot of strength comes from pushing through. From riding those waves of uncertainty with direction and purpose. Not changing their momentum or curve, but changing the perception of position.
For if that is where ones mind is strong- in the ability to warp perception and believe in it, then boldness and unwobbled legs will manifest.

And the deepest pool is mind juice.
Where swimming in that stuff long enough does more than just wrinkle skin.

Like quicksand, the harder you flail, the more you move, the faster you sink.