Life Evaluation

I have begun a reevaluation of my self and life, attempting to straighten things out and then I recognize
 that it actually feels impossible.
And that I really feel I need to see a councilor.
I actually feel a bit messed up.
I am on a flimsy raft of lies, and that raft is on a sailboat of them and that sailboat is on a ship. I’ve been sinking for the past four years.And I can’t get out of the room with the captain seat.Or maybe I should be in it, just steering in a different direction. Or maybe I really should be on a different mobile altogether.
I have read all those fancy quotes and even articles and books, on living a full life and being true to oneself and being honest and love yourself and make good choices and WHAT.
I can know all this and believe it and yet nothing comes from it because well,where does one start?? Not at the beginning,surely. Of course that’s where, but WHAT is that.