Relief

It shifted. A few days ago it did.
When I finally set myself free.
When I did what I needed to do. And it couldn’t have happened any sooner
because I wasn’t ready to let go.
This was in my heart all along.
So as much as this is a beginning, it still feels like it is gloriously aged cheddar.
I guess that’s what happens when you finally make your own hearts whispers’ a priority.

What I Created

For the first time I am afraid of the city I left.
The black concoction I swirled and mixed and added things to for years,
the drink I was never around long enough to take a sip of,
is now the very drink I must drink.
I am forcing myself to.
Because I am not going to find happines anywhere in life, if I am not happy with self.

The time period, the age I thrived in,left years ago.
And I am only now, figuring that out.
I’ve lifted my head up and realized that the only way I found ‘happy’ was by attention and distraction.
You can’t get that stuff when you’re holding a drink of black.