I think maybe now I understand why having a lot of friends as you get older seems.. less of what happens. For awhile now-at least the last two visits I’ve made back here to Canada, I made conscious decision and effort to get together with the people I felt most connected with and closer to. And the ones that I knew I only knew because of the bars or because it was through other people.. etc,I didn’t focus on.
I see now, that for me anyhow, I have a bettter idea of who I get along with or who I want as friends. I’ve become more selective and less ‘wasteful’ if you will.
Perhaps it is one of the reasons I never really located people in Thailand. Sure, getting out of the house and actually trying might have helped, but I believe I was half convinced there wasn’t much way that I was going to find someone and become close with.
I found Steph on a night out of walking about town. I even remember where I stopped her and her friend Kelly. I asked them something- I forget now what. They were American and I instantly knew we connected.
Just so happens Steph was only around for a few weeks before leaving Thailand. I slept over at her place a week after meeting her and we ate spring rolls on the beach and had a laughing fit on her bed. They are raritys. But I know they exist. It makes getting together with people that don’t really interest me, harder to do. Which is a good thing.The overall quality of life is better becuase of it. Which has many factors, but the people we surround ourself with, are part of that.
Maybe in our youngers years, we navigate through life with the help of people. They are like stepping stones to get to the future. And then once the future hits, we can get scared. Looking back and seeing those as stepping stones, and wondering who the stepping stones are in our life at this point and who are the rocks.
Maybe it is not fear but a recognition that should be addressed if we want a less insecure life, whether we want to or not.
To some degree to everyone, people provide a happiness. It varies but they fill a certain spot in ourselves. If we fill it with people we are just hanging around out of convienence or obligation, out of some other alterior motive, you can be sure your quality of life will be less.
For the most part, you choose who you spend your time with,
make them people you truly care about.