Up and Down; No Toleration

It dawned on me last night,
at dusk. 

It set into me, as my heart rose.
It went to the bottom of my soul,
while my senses were in tip top.

It all went down, I said,
” I’m up for this.”
-Me

Somewhere in the loins of last night, thoughts collided into my system and made all the lightbulbs in my 125 pound self, glow.

Warmth radiated off me that I was surprised, did not set the rugs a flame.

The ideas sourcing through my veins are ones I recognize from old self.
My confidence is being regained in surge and the specifics are coursing on all cylinders of my intellect.

I am done being treated the way I was.
I am finished with the distrust and disbelief.

I believe too much in my heart, my soul, the lightbulbs in my bones
the things that I KNOW.
I believe in better and healthier
and I will not launch back into that relationship until it is good and ready for us.

If ever it will be.

No matter how badly I want him to be in my life and my sons’
I’m laying down standards that were lost in the garble along the way
and I am sticking up for
me

no matter who’s down with that.