I guess people will always surprise me.
I left four years ago ending something and it was horrific. Like the largest train crash pile up and it didn’t make the news.
Except it was in my brain headlines for months. Trailing to a write up over the years and I have travelled with it,lived with it and so when I’ve entered the scene and the places where it all took place with the person it did and realize that they left the mental state and are okay and not really where I thought they would be or where we were, it is baffling.
I was expecting them to have anger in a bottle ready to shake and spray at me.
So when I sat above the city on the edge of a hundred year old buildling and the person didn’t push me off-it was kinda a nice feeling.
I have become wrapped up so easily in the kindness and beauty and overal aura of this relationship I have with this person. The reasons flood in and the desire to spend a lot of hours together click into my heart zone.
I haven’t laughed like that for months and months. I haven’t felt so on top of the trees in a long while.
The way that people make you feel when you know they like you. When you know they want to be with you. Is dangerous. It is one of my biggest intensities. My bigget fault. I put myself into these positions a lot of the time and still continue to even when I am taken. Even when they know it.
And I will never drop what I have. Because it is too precious.
But I hold onto happy in other ways.
Someone who intrigues me and is one of the most interesting people that I have met. The mind of theirs is like a jungle that never ends. And it changes colour. And I will always care for this person in this way because they are like a super hero that is tangible, and that understands me and is in love with my goofiness and brings it out of me.
It is something I hate to let go because of how great it makes me feel.
Lines are drawn and set and that’s what makes this all okay .
the grass gets a hair cut and the leaves that change colour and fall off.. is like us getting older and getting greys and thinner hair.
the rain that lands on the tarps and slides down to the bottom, are like children in a waterpark, gurgling up smiles that launch themselves full throttle into the ground floor pool.
the apps that buzz on our phone are the distractions we sometimes relish, taking us into a thoughtless colour coated virtuality and away from whatever needs to be done.
the gang of dogs down the road tempt us into making a dog suit and joining them on their evening adventures. what DO they do.
the clock ticks like a beat to the song of our life and the hum of the fridge coasts along the bass.
we make our melody.
we are the ones deciding, the ones paving our way for us.
i think sometimes we underestimate the power of a smile. i think
sometimes we know that we should of smiled.
i think there are a lot of things we do and do not do,
things that irritate us when others do them or dont do.
we do them unknowenly.
this is because we are people.
we should probably hold more doors open and ask more questions.
we should learn to listen better too.because we all know thats partly
how people determine your care.
we should give out more compliments.
we know how they make us feel.
when it comes to our parents,we can always be nicer to them.we can
always be more present with them, our siblings and our relatives.
i think our patience and our understanding could use a little
maintence work every once in awhile-so that we are able to stretch
further and become more tolerable.
we need to learn how to turn to our inner core and get loose in
situations. to not be so rigid and unbendable. To adapt with good heart.
we need to let others reach us, to connect and relate.
we ought to be more aware and in tune with their struggles; even our
own. to become more knowledgable with people and how they work.
communication is an art able to be bettered.
we should try and be more expressive with how we feel towards others,
towards ourselves. really knowing who we are as an individual is the
biggest part in living a full life. but this is a never ending task.
it is something we should take the paperwork for-everywhere we go.
i think we should take more time to colour in colouring books and play
hide and seek. i think we should climb more trees. To exercise more
often. we should probably eat slower and eat less to.
we could try and figure out the things that make us feel better about
ourselves, and actively do more of that.we could consciously reward
ourselves for the accomplishments we achieve too.
things should probably be more in moderation in our life than they
but not smiles.
smiles are best left unlimited. smiles are like
what water is to trees. smiles soak into peoples souls as it does into
the ground. roots suck up this liquid treat like people suck up the
smirks and the grins. no matter the soil, skin colour or disablility,
water and smiles sow seeds of happiness. where the leaves fall, where
the smiles land, new beauty and new energy are sure to grow.
so within all these things we could do, let a smile be the permenent
backdrop, let it be behind everything we do. if we need to focus on it
and nothing else, do so. it is repetition that will make these
actions ones we don’t think twice about.
it will become our bark and our branches. apart of us in every way.