I think I thought I would miss Thailand more than I do.
I do ride on waves and big wind gusts of the stuff sometimes. But it isn’t very frequent at all. And it’s easy to get off of them.
Since moving back to Canada in September of 2014, I have been conscious-and still am- when it comes to Asian stuffs. I refuse to have any contact in any form with Thai friends. I don’t let myself scroll through there Facebook pages or Instagram accounts. When I see Asians out in public I do find myself staring and feeling a deep connection. But that is really all I allow myself. Partly because I cannot control the sight of them, and partly because running in the opposite direction just doesn’t seem like a good thing to do.
I’ve found that it spills out an over abundance of connection to the country and memories and feelings that I consider to be interference’s.
It’s kind of like a break-up. Emotional connections don’t just ‘zip’,’zilch’ out of your life. It takes time. You’ll still see things or hear music that reminds you of them, and that’s part of the whole process. The duration of it depends on the person.
Thailand will always be a part of my life. I had my son there and he’s a quarter Asian, for goodness sake. I am not against the country or it’s people but by cutting out as much contact with it, it has helped me lesson the emotional attachment I had pertaining to that part of my life. Coming to the understanding that I do not miss it because I have not made a place for that miss to build, is a reassuring, refreshing analysis in my life.
I am capable of doing that with other categories. I can avoid the dangerous, tempting spots. I just make a conscious effort and ‘voila’, time gets it.
Time will always get it.
We are built with both positive and negative feelings. Even though the negative ones are ones we tend to dislike, they are still good to have.
How else do you think we improve or progress?
In relationships,in parenting, or in the workfield?
We are built with the desire to be better.
Feelings can launch you into a spin of happy or of sad. Of self reflection, of doubt, or of denial.
We always want to be happy with our significant other but we may not always try.
Happy can only be tried for to a certain extent. Then the amount we are trying, cancels the amount of happy.
If we are conscious of our level of happiness, if we know how we can be happier, the tools in which to get there, become easier to get.
They become easier to get because we become able to produce them.
It doesn’t mean we can stock our shelves with the stuff, but it does mean we’re bound to be a more positive person that generates a way for people to find THEIR tools.
Positive people beget positive people.
And how great would a city, a state, a province, a WORLD be..
if everyone was more positive?
In 2011 I went back to Canada for the summer.
The two months prior I ran one mile four days out of the week and allowed myself a cup of coffee every now and then for breakfast. I cut out all sugar ( save for the coffee ) and nibbled on nothing but veggies and fruit. I usually ended up eating a mango for dinner. And drank 5 litres of water a day.
Every other day I danced in my bedroom for 20 minutes and did 30 situps and 20 pushups. I lost 10 pounds in this amount of time and didn’t know it. I was nearly the smallest I’d been since highschool.
No, it is not the most healthiest way to go about it, but this way works for me. Because I’ve done it multiple times and each time, I am down at least 5 pounds and I feel fit and glorious.
I know I will gain this five pounds back when I am in Canada. But I want to show up smaller than what I am now.
Currently I am sitting at 122. Goal is 117 by August 14th. Two weeks.
Here we Go!