I am shit at not doing what I need to do and great at doing what I want.
Last year I came to learn it,
this year I attempt doing it.
Situations where I need to make the choice that I need to.
I have to say that it hasn’t felt as freeing as I thought it would. Yes, there is some weight off my head and lightness in my heart, but there’s still this deep dissatisfaction.
That I let someone down. That I couldn’t be all that they envisioned me to be in their life.
I wonder if the more I choose to follow my heart, the less I’ll worry about keeping peace with people. I hope so because doing what I need to do shouldn’t be so difficult.
I said I wanted to get from 122 to 117? Have done it. Quite easily somehow. 114lb now.
I only ate when I was hungry. Which wasn’t often because I have been drinking gallons of water a day. I snacked. I didn’t have meals. I didn’t even work out. Well, some might consider lugging around a 21 pound baby a weight routine.
I thought about taking photos but that didn’t manifest into anything physical besides a mention in my post.
We are off to Canada in 17 hours with a short stop in Korea.
Yes I am afraid. Yes I am a bit stressed. Yes I am going on fumes.
I love flying. And I will try and be relaxed and let things happen the way they are going to.
But I will be happy when my feet land on Canadian soil!
In 2011 I went back to Canada for the summer.
The two months prior I ran one mile four days out of the week and allowed myself a cup of coffee every now and then for breakfast. I cut out all sugar ( save for the coffee ) and nibbled on nothing but veggies and fruit. I usually ended up eating a mango for dinner. And drank 5 litres of water a day.
Every other day I danced in my bedroom for 20 minutes and did 30 situps and 20 pushups. I lost 10 pounds in this amount of time and didn’t know it. I was nearly the smallest I’d been since highschool.
No, it is not the most healthiest way to go about it, but this way works for me. Because I’ve done it multiple times and each time, I am down at least 5 pounds and I feel fit and glorious.
I know I will gain this five pounds back when I am in Canada. But I want to show up smaller than what I am now.
Currently I am sitting at 122. Goal is 117 by August 14th. Two weeks.
Here we Go!