So Here’s How It Works?

27 years old and basically single. I say basically because I’m still hung up on my ex and want no one else. It’s like I’m still dating him in my heart and thoughts.
But the men can’t see that when they look at me. It’s not like I’m wearing a ring on that finger. ( And if I were, does it matter much these days? )

most my age tend to be in a serious relationship, ( married, engaged,dating 4 years ) have a child, living away from their parents..
I’ve noticed this not with the lack of, but with the ┬áLOT OF — older men stepping into my space.

40 to 50 year olds’ who have a child or two, divorced or in the process, alone.
They recognize that I’m older than 17 and carry myself confidently.
I think they can tell I’m open. That talking to them doesn’t weird me out.

So when Guy stops by my co workers place to ask about me and another Guy comes in on Mothers Day to bring me flowers, it kind of hits me that I’m attracting the older because all the ones my age are with someone and that marriages or long term relationships end before one is 40 and then that person struggles to find a woman that is single and the same age and….?

At least, that’s how it works in my life right now.


Any of you girls have the same issues?



Too Much Assessment

I believe reassesment of life should be a regular thing. I also believe there is such a thing as too much of it. If there is a lot, it likely means instability, inability to commit, or driveless unmotivated desire to do anything with life. The decision to not choose. To not care.

Some may wonder why they don’t have the care. How they can see someone choosing to hold down three jobs to get the job they really want, and then see themselves as someone who doesn’t care about holding down any job at all.

You make your own life. You really do.
That’s why it’s important to figure out the things you like best in life and then use your mind,take action and make it work for you.

It’s alot easier to type it out then to do. I know that.
But acknowledgement is usually the first step towards any change in behaviour.

Some of us don’t know why we don’t care.
Maybe we used to care more and now we don’t. Maybe it is the other way around.

Life gets to me too much.
That’s where I’m coming from.

I care about the small things that I never used to. And I have bigger responsabilities as we all do as we get older. We’re supposed to do things that make us happy and as we get older, we tend to need more things for that to happen. Sad, but true. Whether it be alcohol, going to concerts,dining out, bowling, movies,games.
We need more to maintain a happiness we got much easier when we were younger.
Some of us struggle more with this fact than others.

What I’m really getting at is,

I’m reevaluating my life too much these days when I should just be living it.
To trust my own judgement with my new identity and believe and know, that that’s going to make me feel better about being my own self and holding down one job instead of three.